Why Do People Have Children ?

by: Carmen H. Wilkinson

As a small child I sometimes pondered ‘Why do people have Children?’ Growing up one thing I noticed early on was my grandmother had a large family. When I say a large family, well she was one of ten and she had six children of her own. On top of her own children she helped take care of her grandchildren and her ailing mother. When my grandfather’s mother was ill she too moved to our county along with her daughter who at the time didn’t work. My grandmother helped to raise and support many people other than just her and her husband. I don’t ever remember my grandmother working outside of home but she worked in the garden and in the kitchen. In her spare time she would crochete or sew. When she finished working in the family garden she was always eager to share some of her fresh vegetables with a friend, relative, or neighbor.
I remember my Aunt the youngest child of my grandmother’s helping to take care of me a lot as a small child. I can remember her helping to make sure I had bath water ran and that I went to sleep on time. I also remember helping her sweep the floors and wash dishes. I remember my Aunt helping with alot of things. She was the youngest of my grandmother’s six children. At night time when I stayed at my grandmother’s home I would have to sleep in my Aunt’s room. Sometimes I slept in her bed but if it was more than one grandchild staying over I may have to sleep on a pallet on the floor.
Every Sunday after church someone always came to my grandmother’s home to visit. I remember there was always food on the table and lots of company. You never knew who would show up for a Sunday meal. Of course it was usually one of my grandmother’s many siblings and often times their children and grandchildren. They would come to visit with their ‘mother’ who was bedridden and well taken care of by my grandmother. I still wandered why people had children.
Sometimes the conversations on the front porch would revolve around things from the ‘Good ole Days’ as they called it. My grandmother’s brother and she or her sisters would talk about days of ole gone by when they were growing up. They would discuss milking a cow before school or working a garden. They would talk about ways their mother would nurse them when they cut their toe. They’d talk about taking a sweet potato in a paper sack for lunch to school. All of these stories seemed interesting and so long ago.
When I grew up I had children of my own. Luckily my grandmother was still living. She no longer had a large crowd every single Sunday for dinner. She claimed she couldn’t even make home made biscuits any more. I grew up eating her hot buttered biscuits. I loved them as much as I adored her sweet tea.
As a child I always knew I would some day like to be a mother. The idea of having a family of my own appealled to me. I suppose in some ways I tried to rush growing up. I wanted a husband to love me and children to love. I figured if I had children that I would be such a good mother that I would always be loved.
One day I got really sick. I had actually been sick for a while and had made several trips to the doctor. My health continued to decline and I was extremely weak. After realizing the doctor I had been seeing was not in a rush to take my health serious I decided it was time to go else where. I wound up in a nearby hospital and they took my health very serious. It was a good thing too because I nearly died. Upon entering that hospital, although I had been to the other one the day before and to my dr. the day before that; I was admitted. Once admitted I was given a total of four pints of blood over a two day period and then a much needed hysterectomy.
I honestly didn’t think I was going to live through surgery and I had cried myself to sleep the night prior to surgery. Between the loss of blood and the fear of being put to sleep I was engrossed with fear.
It was the same aunt who helped bathe me as a small child that took me to the hospital and let my husband know what the doctor’s where doing with me. My husband got my two children off to school and immediately was at my side. The next several days the last thing I could worry about was my children. I loved them. My only concern was not being able to see them grow up which broke my heart. I was seriously that close to death.
My oldest child was 18 and my youngest was 9. It was my oldest child who brought my youngest child to see me. Both of my children helped do their own laundry and pack lunches. My husband stayed with me the night of surgery and my 18 year old made sure my 9 year old got off to school on time the next day.
Luckily I did survive surgery and I came home the day after. Upon returning home my children and my husband all pitched in. My youngest child would get clothes out of the dryer and do other little errands for me. My oldest son cooked dinner and took out garbage and washed dishes. My husband attended to my every whim. They each made sure that I didn’t pick up anything over five pounds or lift anything above my head.
Recently I was talking to a friend who had a surgical procedure where metal plates where put into her neck. She too has a child. She was telling me how wonderful her daughter had been with helping her. She had also been sick from the medication she was given and her daughter called for help when her mother needed rushing back to the hospital.
Upon my conversation with my friend I reflected back over my entire life span. It was during those times of reflection I realized why people have children. Of course people have children to carry on the family name and to have heirs. They have children because they love their spouse and they want a family of their own. People also have children and love and protect them and take care of them so when they need the nurturing returned it will be done. I am certain few people if any feel that way, it is farrest from their mind. I am a firm believer though, if you love and nurture your family then in your time of need, they too will love and nurture you. They will not desire to do so not just because it is the ‘Right Thing to Do.’ They will simply do it because they love you and they will love you because you loved them first! That my friend is why people have children! It like anything else good in life, it all begins and ends with love. Same way my grandmother took care of her mother who had taken care of my grandmother as a small child.